he's not with us anymore

by casio dad

supported by
HealingSeal
HealingSeal thumbnail
HealingSeal I was impressed by this album. these songs are like new friends who make me feel they are long time friends. especially, I like fake violins. great melody and lyrics saved my mind. Favorite track: fake violins.
PeKaNo
PeKaNo thumbnail
PeKaNo The bass in your tracks is just <3 Love the mix between punk and chiptune, keep it up :D
Tanner Hopkins
Tanner Hopkins thumbnail
Tanner Hopkins I've been sitting here trying to word this right for the last hour, but I can't.
This album is not just music, but emotion. It's raw and human, not to mention pretty catchy. If you want to hear what true emotion in music sounds like, get this album. Favorite track: s u m m e r.
more...
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

  • he's not with us anymore CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    "he's not with us anymore" by casio dad is now a CD!

    Includes unlimited streaming of he's not with us anymore via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
02:12
2.
04:36
3.
04:23
4.
5.
01:22
6.

about

FREE DOWNLOAD: petalportmusic.tumblr.com/post/130282362793/casio-dad-hes-not-with-us-anymore

After countless hours of recording in my dorm, closet, parent’s house, attic, car, apartment and anywhere else I could find, I’m finally done with this damn thing. It’s been just about everything it could be for me: fun, frustrating, inspiring, discouraging, but most importantly it’s been a really cathartic experience that has helped me recover from a really bad spot in a rewarding way. Looking back on it now, it’s hard for me to even understand these songs because I’ve become so divorced from the feelings that inspired them, but he’s not with us anymore serves as a perfect snapshot of last winter when I hated love and constantly felt like a horrible human being. I could write a whole book about this album and what it means but it’s probably better that I let the music speak for itself. Yeah.

Special thanks to:

Rachel Sigal for putting up with the noise when she lived in the dorm next to me and for being a great and supportive girlfriend (and my first patron on Patreon) as I completed this album.

Grant Givens for helping write the early completely unrecognizable version of summer and telling me it was too good of a song for Lucky Death Princess Squad Go! Go! Go!

Madeline Jackson for her feedback on summer that gave me the kick I needed to finish this whole album and for that one time she came over to play Mario Party 2

Cole McClendon for letting me borrow his mics and instruments constantly

Nik Clay and everyone else at Petal Port for providing me with a platform to make this album a bigger deal than I thought it could be

And finally everyone else who gave me feedback or encouragement or just told me that everything’s gonna be ok.

[PP06]

credits

released October 1, 2015

All instruments performed and recorded by J McClendon.
Gang vocals provided by Rachel Sigal, Madeline Jackson, Grant Givens, Tanner Bransom, and Carter Bransom.
Mixed by J McClendon.
Mastered by Timothy Lindsay.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Petal Port Music

Petal Port Music is an independent music label with an emphasis on the meshing of artistic mediums.

contact / help

Contact Petal Port Music

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Track Name: in this room
disgusting sunshine
scratching at my door
i’m stuck inside your
bed of roses

these walls are all thats
not penetrated
the life we’ve created
wants to kill us

living in the basement
midnight, talking to the vcr
sleeping in the spaces i can find
between the bursts of noise

early light shines through the blinds
at 6 am
specks of dust float over the blue light
of the panasonic

i want to go back to what i had
living in polaroid photographs
the further i get into the future
the less i remember the past.
Track Name: s u m m e r
this is where i lost you yesterday
and where i first saw her name
written in the blank space of torn up
receipt

this is how you never heard your name
and how your mind was torn away
a sudden jolt from a long falling dream

and last night

some kind of banshee was screaming out
from the place I was before
its voice was sick and desperate
while begging her for more

it’s what keeps us both together from a
lifetime away
no time passed still trapped in that day

shadows of palm trees
draw patterns on hotel curtains
she’s dead asleep in an unmade bed
she never sleeps alone

when we had all summer
until the winter killed us all
you wanted to wait
for some sort of fate
believing that God would save us
it’s worthless
you know it’s no one’s fault but ours
the only one we love is not with us
anymore

i’ll lose my identity to not be your enemy
you’re not another victim of the things
that she did to me
i just need stability but monotony’s killing me
denying the lies an exercise in futility

i’m not better off with fake love
a life that i can’t think of
or know what to make of it
death from inside

last night

i thought about giving up on everything
and settling down with you
i know it sounds so stupid
after all that we’ve been through

maybe I’m just afraid to feel anything but hate
it’s just a miserable state

portraits of children
line hallways, a broken household
i’m clawing right through
the wallpaper that’s peeling off the walls

when we had all summer
until the winter killed us all
you wanted to wait
for some sort of fate
believing that God would save us
it’s worthless
you know it’s no one’s fault but ours
the only one we love is not with us
anymore

i don’t want to die

he’s not with us anymore

When we had all summer
winter

he’s not with us anymore

shadows of palm trees
draw patterns on hotel curtains
she’s dead asleep in an unmade bed
she never sleeps alone

i loved you last summer
we lost him last winter
trapped in my bed
i called you and said
“i’m going to fucking end it.”
it’s worthless
you know we’ll never change the past
i’ll only hide behind the guilt from what i’ve done.
Track Name: fake violins
she never broke any windows
a love like starving and waiting
and fake violins
bowed their song through the air ducts
fistfulls of anticonvulsants
stuck in her throat

she gave her all that she could do
picked up a hairpin and bent it
to make a ring
gave her all that she could do
she tried the door, it wouldn’t open

so lets start again together
i’ll run away forever
you know i can’t help coming
back to you

break all our friends who ever
loved us and made life better
fuck them they don’t have any clue

so lets start again together
i’ll run away forever
you know i can’t help coming
back to you

break all our friends who ever
loved us and made life better
fuck them they don’t have any clue

take a melody
simple as can be
give it some words and
sweet harmony

raise your voices
all day long now, love grows strong now
sing a melody of love
oh, love

so lets start again together
i’ll run away forever
you know i can’t help coming
back to you

break all our friends who ever
loved us and made life better
fuck them they don’t have any clue.
Track Name: im ok with you
time
it goes so slow
and then it passes fast
trapped in the past with you

seems like yesterday
we were dreaming of the moon
but we were taken far too soon
from our homes

and we don’t know
just where to go
when we’re all alone

i’ll suffocate this comfort
intermingled in the lights
cul-de-sacs of empty neighborhoods

(stars stars shining down)
i’d kill myself
(pretty lights all around)
and you’d kill me too

when i’m alone with you

i’ll believe 300 years or more
your love is all that i live for
and when i’m fucking dead,
can i still be with you?

you give me everything i need
your voice pollutes the air i breathe
when all the other girls are
out to break my neck

so i think i just might stay
to try to keep the night away
and nothing means anything
but i’m ok with you

i’ll believe 300 years or more
your love is all that i live for
and when i’m fucking dead,
can i still be with you?

you give me everything i need
your voice pollutes the air i breathe
when all the other girls are
out to break my neck

so i think i just might stay
to try to keep the night away
and nothing means anything
but i’m ok with you

so i think i just might stay
to try to keep the night away
and nothing means anything
but i’m ok with you

so i think i just might stay
to try to keep the night away
and nothing means anything
but i’m ok with you.
Track Name: ends of the earth
i don’t want a lot of recognition
i just want you to know who i am
do what it takes to find my place
to prove i’m more than just a man

i will travel to the ends of the earth
to the deepest of depths hoping someday
i can see
your bright and smiling face again
it now begins
nothing will stand in my way

the ship drops and the engine roars
rotors spinning through the murky depths
pale creatures pass the window ports
captivated and obsessed

the pressure builds outside
the darkness swallows the light
i feel the warmth of a passing glance
from the bottom of the sea

and maybe
i can breathe down here

sounds of laughter pull me closer
as my eyes begin to burn
in this blackness, full of nowhere,
past the point of no return,
i’m alive

i can’t speak to you anymore
since the doctors took your voice
but i thought i heard you laughing now
a baby’s voice swims all around me

don’t believe what the people say
i can’t just change my mind
i know that you’re out there crying
i know

sounds of laughter pull me closer
as my eyes begin to burn
in this blackness, full of nowhere,
past the point of no return,
i’m alive

sounds of laughter pull me closer
as my eyes begin to burn
in this blackness, full of nowhere,
past the point of no return,
i’m alive.



these dirty bedsheets,
torn up and yellowed.
my face in the pillow,
s u f f o c a t e d.